A Nauga Story
This is only an introduction to Nauga history. There is more to come.
Look for new articles on Naugas' culinary preferences, customs and traditions
of Naugas around the world, and other Nauga facts and trivia!
The small chameleon-like animals known as Naugas have long been
known as the source of beautiful and durable fabrics that look like
fine, soft leather. And since Naugas shed their hydes without harm to
themselves, the fabrics they help make came to be known as Naugahyde®,
The Cruelty Free Fabric.
Despite the popularity
of these little animals and their hydes, little is known of their origins
and how they first came to America.
say Naugas are native to the island of Sumatra. Ancient Nauga
artifacts recently found near the Coliseum in Rome have, however, cast
doubt on this theory.
One prominent historian
believes the first Naugas arrived in America in 1778 when they delivered
designer clothes from France to George Washington's Continental Army.
Others suggest they arrived far earlier, pointing out an abandoned tenth
century Viking settlement that was recently unearthed in Newfoundland.
Among the tantalizing evidence is the discovery of two Nauga names,
Olaf the Red and Erik the Navy Blue, on a fragment of stone tablet at
But like most immigrants
many Naugas simply arrived with little more than their hydes on their
backs and a willingness to work hard for a better future.
Before long Naugas
were succeeding in many industries and professions.
Thomas Maroon built
a nationwide chain of dry-cleaning shops.
completed the first solo transatlantic flight by a Nauga in 1932.
inspired an entire generation of Naugas to excel when he authored The
Horatio Nauga Story, a quasi-autobiographical account of a young Nauga
who found that fame and fortune could be within anyone's grasp.
Author F. Scott
Fitzgerald acknowledged his literary debt to VanderNauga in his memoirs
when he noted that, "...as much as one might find fault with the
premises underpinning VanderNauga's writings, his advice on always having
a 'thick skin' when it comes to criticism is as fresh today as when
it was written."
later years he continued to follow his own advice and amassed a fortune
that rivaled those of Henry Ford and John D. Rockefeller by convincing
his fellow Naugas to shed their hydes for the automotive seating and
home furniture markets.
charitable legacies is the VanderNauga Foundation, a nonprofit organization
that supports aspiring artists and house painters around the world.
Despite their small
stature, Naugas have been closely associated with sports in America
for more than one hundred years. What they often lacked in athletic
skills was more than offset by sheer determination, and their ability
to shed their hydes in order to provide uniforms for their teammates.
Naugas became especially
popular around colleges, where they attended sporting events in large
numbers. Their habit of attending games with their hydes matching the
home team's colors is thought by some observers to be the first verifiable
instance of fans dressing in team colors on game days.
The list of Naugas
in sports is too long to mention here, but includes many well-known
shortstops and right-fielders in professional baseball, and multiple
medal winners in the Olympics--mostly in synchronized swimming events.
Nauga, holder of football's all-time point scoring record, was a charter
Hall of Fame inductee. Unfortunately, Nick retired a bitter Nauga after
football's decision to place an asterisk next to his scoring record.
The asterisk noted that nearly all of Nick's points were scored while
he was holding on to successful field goals and extra points as they
sailed through the air.
Until the early
1900's Naugas were hunted to near extinction in many parts of
the world. Even in America, Nauga hunts were a common occurrence well
into the 1800's. It was only after widespread newspaper reports of hunters
aboard moving trains shooting Naugas for sport and leaving untold thousands
dead and dying along the railroad tracks that public outrage brought
an end to the slaughter.
In 1905 President
Theodore Roosevelt signed legislation that gave Naugas the right to
vote. Arguing for passage of the "Nauga Amendment" before
a rare joint session of Congress, Roosevelt declared, "You must
not vote for this bill because it is right, but because it is the right
thing to do." As applause echoed through Congress, Roosevelt swept
a nearby Nauga up in his arms, smiled broadly, and turned toward a waiting
bank of newspaper photographers.
The photograph of
Roosevelt and the unidentified Nauga was on the front pages of newspapers
across the country. In the Nauga mania that followed, enterprising toy
manufacturers began making "Teddy Naugas," small stuffed Nauga
replicas wearing wire rim eyeglasses in the distinctive Roosevelt style.
In spite of the
violence that many Nauga families had experienced in years past, and
the fact that Naugas are invariably pacifists, Naugas have consistently
donated their hydes in order to make jackets, gloves, and other essential
items whenever their country called upon them.
In retrospect, the
years following the second World War were the start of a golden age
for Nauga culture. Some thirty-five million Naugas were born between
1946 and 1964, a time period often referred to as the "Nauga Boom."
Not typically known
to be rebellious, millions of young Naugas nonetheless found themselves
in the forefront of a generational wave that changed everything in its
wake; music, art, and life in general would never be the same again.
During the 1950's
Naugas packed theaters every weekend night to listen to Nauga musicians
that would soon become Rock and Roll legends. Elvis Paisley and Chuck
Raspberry played such favorites as "Blue Naugahyde® Shoes"
to capacity crowds.
Typical notions of what constituted art were turned upside down as Nauga
artists crashed upon the scene in a creative burst of color and texture
unlike anything that had proceeded it. Modern Art finally achieved legitimacy
with general audiences through the works of Nauga-inspired artists such
as Picasso and Dali. Following a landmark exhibition of paintings by
Nauga artists at the Museum of Modern Art in 1972, one art critic wrote,
"it is only now, with so many works by Nauga artists in one place,
that I can even begin to comprehend the scope of the revolution that
has altered the very way we see our world."
But like so much
of history, a few Naugas became famous and powerful while the majority
took care of the tasks that constituted the bulk of their day-to-day
existence: work, school, and dreams of better things for their children.
In the field of
science and technology Naugas have often labored in obscurity due to
an unusual string of bad luck. Among the famous inventions of not-so-famous
Nauga inventors are vending machines that accept bent and foreign coins,
the rotary engine, and ambidextrous coffee cups.
No Nauga has experienced
greater misfortune than astronaut Milton "Buzz" Nauga. Owing
to an unfortunate incident involving a clogged hair dryer, "Buzz"
narrowly missed becoming the first American to walk on the moon. Little
more than a footnote in history books today (because no one can ever
remember that he was the second American to reach the moon), "Buzz"
is content to endorse automotive oil additives on television and play
golf with former U.S. presidents.
for the value that Naugas provide to them when they shed their
hydes, a consortium of companies that produce products made from Naugahyde
fabric established an extensive benefits program for Naugas in 1975.
Funded with a contribution made for each hyde shed, the Nauga Defense
Fund (or NDF) plays a central role in making sure that Naugas are protected
and cared for throughout their lives.
The NDF Legal Program
was instrumental in passing laws prohibiting the testing of cosmetics
NDF funded retirement
villages throughout the country help to ensure that Naugas can spend
their retirement years in secure and comfortable surroundings.